Shortly after Brett proposed to me in December 2019, I was asked the question, “are you stressed yet?”. I found this question both frustrating and eye-opening, because it highlighted something that I believe most couples face when they get engaged – the wedding planning stress and pressure to plan the perfect wedding.
March 2020 hit and the world locked down in the face of a global pandemic. While many couples postponed their weddings, we decided to keep planning, hoping for the best. Was it easy? No. Was it stress-free? No. But somehow, we did manage to keep our peace in the planning process. While the day didn’t look like how I’d always imagined it to be, in September 2020, we celebrated our wedding day in the midst of a global pandemic. It was the most beautiful day.
I’m no stranger to changed plans, stressful situations or circumstances outside of our control. This is why I want to support you throughout your wedding planning journey. Whilst we bring your Pinterest board to life, I want to help you to love every minute of your engagement and help you prepare to marry your best friend.
Whether you’ve just got engaged, or are weeks away from your journey down the aisle, here are three ways that you can prepare well and discover peace in the process.
Invest as much time in your future marriage as you are your wedding day
It is so easy for wedding planning to take over your time and thoughts that it’s common to arrive at the wedding day without putting much thought into the marriage… and marrying your best friend is the most exciting part! One way to combat this is to make an effort to prepare for and talk about your marriage just as much as you do the wedding day. Going on dates together (where wedding plans aren’t the main topic of conversation), asking each other important questions, and going on adventures together will help you remember that all the unexpected stresses of wedding planning are so worth it.
One of my favourite memories of our wedding week was going on a brunch date at our favourite coffee shop before just our families arrived. There was no ‘wedding talk’, just excitement for the months and years to come!
Decide whose opinions you will listen to
Everyone has opinions about how you ‘should’ plan your wedding, but you get to decide which ones you listen to. Every couple, and every family is different. Expectations vary based on culture, budget and family dynamic. Whilst some couples will want to plan everything together, others will find so much joy in involving parents and friends. The most important thing is that you decide together, as a couple, whose opinions you will consider in your planning. Not only then will you both be on the same page in planning, but you will easily be able to brush off unwanted comments in your planning and enjoy specific peoples’ contributions.
Budget and prioritise
Let’s name the elephant in the room. Weddings can be really expensive. When you begin planning, it can feel overwhelming to know what you should be spending money on and how much is a reasonable amount. When you’re ready to start planning, decide between the two of you which three aspects of your wedding day are really important to you, and allocate a larger portion of the budget to these areas. For example, whilst some couples will prioritise cinema level videography, others will prioritise an open bar for their guests. How you spend your budget is based on what you value out of a day, so there is no right or wrong way to spend it. Once you have decided on your three things, the other aspects of the day can either be cut, be given a more budget friendly option or perhaps a friend or family member could help as a gift.
In each moment of planning, my challenge to you is to continue to date your fiancé take the pressure off and have fun dreaming about your upcoming marriage. It really is the best.
